3/30 

Your heart
was calm and steady
beneath my fiery palm

You had done this before.

Do you remember mine?
like thunder raging
in my chest

My too skinny 14 year old body:
a lonely planet wracked by seismic waves
that could destroy all life

Your mouth tasted
fresh and minty
(4 out of 5 dentists... I remember thinking)

mine
a desert
waiting for the rains

To come

The silken feel of you
I had never touched someone else's
before that "no turning back" moment

Lips, tongue, teeth
too much? not enough?
Am I doing this right?

We laid on the floor
of your parent's house
beneath Christmas tree lights

You said
"I've been waiting for this"
You had planned it, after all:

You called me the weekend before
"Is it true? Are you...
Because I am.... if you need someone to talk with..."

So I stayed at a "friend's house"
But your father called me
"Another one.."

That next chilly morning

"We're used to him by now"

And after you said
"I think we'll just be friends"
And that was good

I carry this with me
I have always felt lucky
it was good